#5 First Line Last Line "I don't even know my own name yet."

It was an exhausting day with Peter. I just got back home about twenty minutes ago. I curl up under my new soft sheets. It’s really rainy and windy outside. I hear thunder and it rattles the apartment building a little bit. My eyes slowly start to close and I start thinking about home in England. I miss my mother. She would be so wonderful to talk to right now. There are so many things I wish she knew. I want to tell her about Peter and Holly… and…

I’m at a lake having a picnic with Holly and Peter. We are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we made together. We’re laughing about something. It’s so hot outside, and it’s a very pretty, clear, happy day, and there are butterflies all around Peter’s face. It’s just like the Sound Of Music. “Let’s go swimming,” I say. “Yeah!” shouts Holly so excitedly. We all strip down to our bathing suits. I don’t know why we already have them on, but oh well, and we all jump into the crystal blue lake. 

Peter and I are sitting in chairs that are floating in the lake gazing into each others eyes. Everything is so perfect, it’s like heaven. And all of a sudden, clouds start to cover the sky and it gets dark and Holly disappears. We start screaming for her and hear nothing. Peter and I are sobbing and jump off the chairs, swimming, and trying to look for her, but everything is dark, and we can’t see anything. Our screams and cries echo, and the thunder roars and everything is shaking.

I open my eyes and jump out of bed. “Holly, Holly, Holly! Where are you?” Oh, my god, that was terrible. There’s still a thunderstorm. I can’t go back to sleep after that. I get up and walk to the kitchen to make some tea, and I sit down on the couch and curl up in a blanket as I sip the tea. I start trying to think about why I dreamed that. Why can’t I remember anything? What’s wrong with me. I only remember leaving home, but nothing after that. Did that dream actually happen? “Adeline, babe what’s wrong? Another bad dream?” Peter says. “Wheres Holly?” “Hun, Holly is dead, she has been dead for a year.”

"Today marks the one-year anniversary of her death. I.. I just didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to bring you back to that day and upset you. You're stressed out enough as it is, with the baby and all." What has the hell? Am I pregnant? Why can't I remember anything? What's wrong with me? I don't know anything... I don't even know my own name yet.

#4

Maybe I'm doing something wrong in my life. Maybe there is a reason I don't feel a sense of fulfillment. I just want to be happy. Old people say God gives you a sense of purpose in our lives, and that it where people find true happiness. I was raised Catholic, but then I lost all faith once I reached the age of thirteen. I suppose everyone has it rough when they are that age, and they feel like their world is upside down. I could search for this "God" just for the fun of it. It could make me feel as if there really is a purpose in my life. Maybe I will feel less lonely as well. First, I will go to Jehovah, then St. Mark, then Shalom Temple.

I start walking up to Jehovah's witness since it is closer to my apartment. It's Sunday, so I assume everything is open for worship. Back home in England we used to go to church every single Sunday, and I hated it so much. I hope that this time it will be different though... I think it could help me. I could very well find my purpose in life. My grandpa was always confident that God gave us a gift of talent. He used to say jumping out of things and landing safely was his gift. He died by jumping off a five hundred- thirty seven foot cliff when he was seventy five in Austria. I think he had a problem. But maybe I'll figure out what my gift is! I have no clue what it could be... The only thing I'm food at is running away.

I ask Peter and Holly if they could like to come on this spiritual journey with me. They both look over and say, "Yes!". "Okay so lets be ready to go in about a half hour." Peter offers to whip something up for breakfast before we go. "That would be great babe." Of shit. "I mean, Peter... not babe. Sorry" Why did I say that? What's wrong with me. He starts making omelets for the three of us. I'm standing beside him. He's so focused when he cooks. Ahhhh a man who cooks! Wow. This is so nice to look at. I realize I've been starring at him for like two full minutes, and I look away. Well damn, I'm creepy as hell! He probably didn't even realize I was looking at him. I mean, it's not my fault he looks like David Beckham. I can't help but to look at that. He most likely has a girlfriend anyway. "Here you are." Peter hands me the omelet and it's so beautiful, it looks like it came out of a Paula Deen magazine. "Haha thanks!" He smiles at me and then looks down. He looks back up and asks"Is it hot in here?" "Yeah, so hot. Umm, I'll go and turn on the AC."

I walk away really fast toward the hall where the AC is. I'm blushing so hard it feels like I dipped my face in boiling Vodka. I hit my shin on the new chair in my living room and have to sit down. Jesus! That hurt! I almost want to cry because it hurts so bad but I just pretend everything is okay. Peter starts running over. "Are you okay Addie?" "Umm, yeah, I'm fine. It's really nothing, I just hit my shin." He gets down on one knee and examines my leg, and of course, it's just gotta be bleeding, and I look a mess! He pulls a band aid out of his back pocket, and gently puts it on the wound. Who carries around band aids in their pocket?  He looks up at me and says, "Happens to me all the time." Holly walks in. "Get a room!" she says. "Oh we have to go. The church services are about to start, and I need God."

We all start heading for the door. We hop in a cab outside of the apartment and start heading over to Jehovah. In the car we all talk about what the service might be like. "I think it'll be really weird." Holly says. We arrive at the church, and step out of the cab. We stand outside of the building for a good five minutes just starring at it. We all say "hmmm" in sync. We start walking towards the set of old golden french doors. Walking inside we see a man standing beside a stand of brochures that I assume regard the church itself. This strange man with a grey beard skips towards Peter and I and says, "What a lovely child the two of you have! This child represents the destiny of your lives that God has so kindly provided for you." Me and Peter look at each other and say, "Nope." We all peacefully walk out and Peter calls for the cab to come back over. "Well that was a bust." He says.

#3

Holly and I wake up in my room, and it's about 10:00 a.m. I'm really not used to sleeping in, but it's quite lovely. I look out the window to my left, and it's still raining. And there's ducks. Ducks. Ducks just walking down the street. Weird. Very weird. But today's the day... we're going to find Holly's mother. The only problem is that I simply have no idea as to where we should begin looking. "Hey Holly, where is your house? Do you live near here?" She looks up at me, and then puts her head back down and drift back off into her deep, peaceful sleep. I've never seen someone look so content. This girl has been through so much, I don't know why she seems like everything is fine. This is one barmy town. Or maybe she just isn't used to feeling safe. Do I make her feel safe? How strange. It feels like I'm fighting a war in my head. I could barely sleep through the night.

I get up out of bed and decide this apartment will be what I make it. I will no longer live in this crummy rat hole. Perhaps I could buy some furniture, dishes, and a rug. Yes, a nice rug. I start crying. Mother always loved rugs. I think I miss my family, but I don't want to go back. I try not to cry too loud because I don't want to wake Holly. "Pull yourself together." I say. Okay, I'm going to fix this place up, and it's going to be great. I soak the tears back up, and search for the $42,000 under my bed shoved into a giant shoe box I took from home. I don't know why, but my father had a huge stash of American money hidden in the drawer of his work desk. I guess I'm glad I found it.

I need to go on a little shopping spree to make this place more suitable to live in. I start walking back toward the bedroom to wake Holly. "Holly, wake up. We need to go on a little adventure before we find your mother." I know that finding Holly's mother is probably a more crucial task, but I mean, this girl seemed pretty miserable when I first met her, and I think she would appreciate doing SOMETHING for once in her life.

We walk outside of the apartment and I whistle when I see a cab driving by. this old white guy with a beard dyed green pulls up with a cigar in his mouth. "What is this town?" Holly and I both say in sync. We hop into the back of the car and I ask if there are any furniture stores around the town. "We gotta go bout' fifteen minutes into CastleStone for dat." I can barely understand what language the bloody man is speaking, so I just say, "okay". We start driving down the road, and I look to my right and see this place called Jeremy's Pizza Palace. Hmmm maybe I could go there sometime, I guess when Holly is gone, I'll be all alone. We keep driving and driving. This has certainly been more than just fifteen minutes. But the finally, we arrived at yet another sketchy ass town. At least we aren't dead though. You know what they say about American cab drivers. We step out of the car and I pay the weirdo, and tell him we should be back out within half an hour.

Of course I go all out with everything... I'm from a palace. The workers are loading everything into a truck to take to my apartment. Me and Holly hop back into the cab, and head out to get lunch. We end up stopping by the pizza place we passed by before to get Hawaiian pizza.

We're back at the apartment now just standing at the front door telling the workers where to put everything. I walk over to tell one of the men to scoot the couch to a more centered position to the Television, and then stub my toe. "For heaven's sake!" Blood is getting everywhere... "Holly could you bring me some tissue, please?" She goes running, acting like she's being chased by the grim reaper, and she comes back into the living room with a role of toilet paper. "Thanks, hun."

As we are hanging the T.V. to the wall, someone starts banging on the front door. I go over and open it with Holly standing behind me. There is this tall, handsome man around twenty five or so standing there. I pause, and I can't even speak. Holly screams, "Peter!" They both embrace each other into a loving hug. So loving that it's like they're family.

Day 2

I decide I should use this day to explore this dreadful town. I walk out of the apartment, and start walking down Collingwood Ave.  There's a lunar eclipse. It's so creepy out here. It feels like I'm in a horror movie. It sure would be nice to see some sunshine for once. I suddenly hear a honking sound behind me and I look back, and there is this old truck with the windows smashed out and duct tape covering them. Inside, there is a man with a long beard who must be at least fifty. He has a beer in his hand. I'm not in the middle of the street... for heaven's sake, I'm on the sidewalk. I wonder what that was all about. Maybe this was the reason mother always told me to never walk the streets alone. I keep walking and simply pretend nothing happened.

On my right, I see this old park. It looks a bit creepy, but there's some children playing which makes it a little happier. There is a group of boys on the merry go round, and then a little blonde girl on the swing by herself. She reminds me of myself. I reckon she would love someone to talk to her, so I walk over and introduce myself. "Hello, my name is Adeline." She starts giggling. "I'm Holly. You have a funny voice." I nearly forgot that I even have my accent. "Where's your mommy and daddy?" I say. "Watch out!" she screams. The same creepy, drunk man with the beard is behind me and grabs my purse and runs off. I'm shocked! I have never been treated in such a way. Filthy bastard. "That happened to my mommy today and her and my daddy ran after him, but they never came back." I stop in silence. "Let's find them."

Intro

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is? I sure do. I just turned nineteen and I decided I was ready for my life to begin. I got on a plane and never looked back.  I just moved to Collingwood Heights. It's this prehistoric set of bricks that should have probably been torn down a long time ago. I mean really, somebody could seriously get hurt by the ceiling caving in or something. But hey, I'm doing it for the experience... it's something different. I've lived in England all my life. Right now, I'm staring out my window, just looking into the rain. I can see my long, wavy blonde hair in my reflection and my green eyes staring back at me. Wow, the rain is really coming down. I do this a lot. The looking out the window in deep thought kind of thing.

I walk into the kitchen to get a snack. Most things are still in boxes, but I manage to find the peanut butter and a spoon, so that's good enough. Ha! I can eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon, and nobody can stop me! My mom keeps saying she can get me a nice apartment somewhere other than Collingwood, but I'm sick of everything being handed to me. It sounds nice to someone who might be poor, but it sucks to feel like you can't get out of the suburbs and feel free. Freedom is all I've ever wanted. I don't know what I want to do or where I want to go, but anywhere is better than home. And, I would never get to eat peanut butter out of the jar back at home. Our maid Simone would knock it out of my hands and say it isn't ladylike. I'm done with always trying to keep my manners and be perfect.