It was an exhausting day with Peter. I just got back home about twenty minutes ago. I curl up under my new soft sheets. It’s really rainy and windy outside. I hear thunder and it rattles the apartment building a little bit. My eyes slowly start to close and I start thinking about home in England. I miss my mother. She would be so wonderful to talk to right now. There are so many things I wish she knew. I want to tell her about Peter and Holly… and…
I’m at a lake having a picnic with Holly and Peter. We are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we made together. We’re laughing about something. It’s so hot outside, and it’s a very pretty, clear, happy day, and there are butterflies all around Peter’s face. It’s just like the Sound Of Music. “Let’s go swimming,” I say. “Yeah!” shouts Holly so excitedly. We all strip down to our bathing suits. I don’t know why we already have them on, but oh well, and we all jump into the crystal blue lake.
Peter and I are sitting in chairs that are floating in the lake gazing into each others eyes. Everything is so perfect, it’s like heaven. And all of a sudden, clouds start to cover the sky and it gets dark and Holly disappears. We start screaming for her and hear nothing. Peter and I are sobbing and jump off the chairs, swimming, and trying to look for her, but everything is dark, and we can’t see anything. Our screams and cries echo, and the thunder roars and everything is shaking.
I open my eyes and jump out of bed. “Holly, Holly, Holly! Where are you?” Oh, my god, that was terrible. There’s still a thunderstorm. I can’t go back to sleep after that. I get up and walk to the kitchen to make some tea, and I sit down on the couch and curl up in a blanket as I sip the tea. I start trying to think about why I dreamed that. Why can’t I remember anything? What’s wrong with me. I only remember leaving home, but nothing after that. Did that dream actually happen? “Adeline, babe what’s wrong? Another bad dream?” Peter says. “Wheres Holly?” “Hun, Holly is dead, she has been dead for a year.”
"Today marks the one-year anniversary of her death. I.. I just didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to bring you back to that day and upset you. You're stressed out enough as it is, with the baby and all." What has the hell? Am I pregnant? Why can't I remember anything? What's wrong with me? I don't know anything... I don't even know my own name yet.